Marriage can sometimes be a rocky road. Too often we find ourselves bickering and nagging over the slightest things. Many years from now when the dust has long been settled, we hopefully will realize how unimportant it was to be right. A few years ago, I painted our living room by myself. Not because I wanted bragging rights (did I mention it was 300 square feet? just saying). I did it because I wanted to surprise my husband when he came home from work. Little did I realize the magnitude of the job, thus, I worked until the wee hours of the night finishing it up. Wasn't much of a surprise, at least, not what I had envisioned. However he was beyond grateful and I could tell he truly was touched.
We are in the process of sprucing up our condo to sell. Our goal and dream is to own a house for our family, so I've been putting many hours into our place to prepare for our blessing. This year marks 10 years of being together, 8 years since we said our vows. We have been through a lot together. Did you catch that? Together? There have been very trying times when our heads could barely withstand the beating waves of the current storm.
We each made selfish mistakes. Though it may be hard to forgive ourselves, it's so important to let our spouses know we've forgiven them. That we will stand by them even through the murky waters. That we are more than best friends but are soldiers in love, fighting a tough yet beautiful battle, side by side. That they can trust us. Depend on us. That they know we can be their constant.
Constant in forgiveness.
Constant in open embrace.
These things should never change. If they do, they should be getting better and stronger! I want my husband to feel secure in our marriage. I want him to know that no matter what choices he makes, I'm not going anywhere unless God tells me to. He can rely on me to be next to him even when he falls. I want him to know that we are a team.
He can trust me with his heart, that I won't manipulate it to get what I want.
He can be honest and open because I'm honest and open.
He can share with me his inner fears because I too am flawed and scared.
He can know that when he comes home at night, I'll be eagerly waiting with a tight hug, as if to say "It's okay. The troubles of the day are gone. You are home."
One definition of constant is this: a situation or state of affairs that does not change.
This is where many marriages fail. We fail one another because we change our love based on circumstances and trials. We fail to be consistent in our vows. We lack accountability for our words and actions. The same way that God's love for us is constant and unchanging, our love for our husbands need to be this as well. We live in a world today that embraces change like a new outfit. While change is good, when it comes to true love in marriage, it's important to honor it the way God intended it. Constant.