I'm not enough. And that's enough for me.

Writing this will probably shake a few branches and ruffle some feathers. As I’m thinking about the content of this post, I can’t help but clear the air of how I feel regarding the feeling of inadequacy. I’ve had this thought on my heart for a long time but have been praying about the right way to express it. Because popular opinion will probably win. Because we want to believe a lie. Because we want to feel validated, relevant, important.

My sweet friend, I don’t mean to write this as an insult. I don’t mean to degrade you or decrease your value as a child of God who is loved with deep amazing grace. You are absolutely loved beyond measure. There is no one that loves you more that the Lord. You are fearfully and wonderfully made, crafted with a reason and purpose. He has sculpted precious plans for you and residing in His hands is the only place to truly feel full. Just read Romans 8:38-39 for a renewed perspective.

Yet we need to be careful. There is danger is thinking that just because we are favored, then we are delivered. That just because His grace is free, means we are automatically free. Without lovely raw repentance. Without turning away from real sin. Without doing our part. Because, sweet sister, faith without works is dead. (James 2:17) While works alone cannot save, it doesn’t mean there is nothing we have to do. He sets the path but we must walk it.

So, no. I will not say that I’m enough. I know there is a saying that is flying through social media faster than wildfire but what I know about who God is won’t allow me to even speak those words. Not when He has identified who He is through His Word.

The very definition of enough makes it very clear. Enough means “Plenty or sufficient.” If I say that “I’m enough”, I am saying that I am sufficient. That there is no more room for growth. That I have exhausted all of my resources and am exactly where I need to be in spiritual maturity. Oh how untrue that is! Maybe you have used this saying and you have your reasons. I personally just can’t bring myself to utter it because even though the Lord has brought me very far, He is not done with me yet. I cannot say I’m enough if I’m still a work in progress.

“And he said unto me, My grace is sufficient for thee: for my strength is made perfect in weakness. Most gladly therefore will I rather glory in my infirmities, that the power of Christ may rest upon me.” 2 Corinthians 12:9

God clearly says over and over again that He is enough. It is His grace, His love, that is full and whole. That is plenty and sufficient. Not me. When I research the scriptures, it doesn’t talk about how enough I am. It doesn’t validate my walk with Christ. In fact, it only shows me that I’m a constant sinner in need of a Savior. I’m not enough but He is! And that is enough for me. At least it should be.

For in him dwelleth all the fulness of the Godhead bodily. Colossians 2:9

It is the Lord Jesus Christ that is enough. Yes, we are His children but we are not complete yet. In order to be used by God, He must increase and I must decrease (John 3:30) This is not saying I don’t have value. God absolutely died for us but it was because of His selfless love. It was because He was enough to endure the cross. It was because it not only was enough back then but it is absolutely, fully enough right now! I need to be okay with not being enough because that’s how God works through me. He shares His glory with no one (Isaiah 42:8) If I’m a Christian, I must be His reflection. However I need to be careful and remember that I’m still only human. I am not enough. Yes, I have come from the ashes. Yes, I do believe I have been redeemed and saved. I also believe that repentance is a daily gift that needs to be exercised. By putting God on the throne in the palace of my heart.  

I’m not enough. And that’s okay with me because Christ is enough and in that truth is my strength.